chasing clouds
The training provided momentary relief. Meeting new faces and being in a totally new environment steered my mind cleared of the sorry state I am into. The guys are actually fun to be with like in any call center training classes.
I have come to like Makati at night. Devoid of the usual day traffic and busy faces, downtown Makati has its own distinct atmosphere. The lights along the road are dimmed with very few people walking along the quiet streets and a few cars passing from time to time. It gives me a sense of serenity and some sort of comfort.
Driving back in the morning is surprisingly a bliss as well, with the sun just rising along the horizon.
The total experience with my new job has become a consolation to me. It is only when I lay down on the bed that the whole thing sets in again. It is still much too painful to think about that I still struggle to get to sleep.
I dread about the days ahead. It is still unthinkable as of the moment. But I am starting to convince myself that I maybe a different person now, than what I used to be, five days ago. All about me could just be a history.
I remember my father telling me fourteen years ago:
“Be careful, you may end up being just one of them.”
I took my chances anyway. But heedlessy, I guess. I got so enthralled by the immense affection that I let my guard down.
My mistake.
I have cleared my mind of the “why” question. What’s happening right now could have been bound to happen. I just didn’t see it coming.
Painful as it is, I perfectly understand.
I am still in the process of making sense out of everything.
Another thing about my new job, it demands excellence, and therefore, requires us to take a step farther, which may consume most of my time…thus, preventing my mind from dwelling into my own tribulation.
Whether it’s a good thing or not, I’m not sure.
But at the moment, it may just be the only certain thing I have.
.
